10 weeks and 3 days ago....

....My world was forever changed. Peyton was born on August 27, 2010 at 5:45 pm and since my last post was the night before, you can see she has been the focus of all my attention.

The Birth Story
On Friday the 27th of August I went in for an ultrasound to check her weight and position, to make sure Baby Earl was still head down and to see if I was dilated. As usual Auntie Sandy and Ashley met me at the Doctor's office that morning, though this time I had thought it would be routine and it was at my mom's request they came...I thought it would be a quick in and out as I was feeling okay. It had been a long week but at 39 weeks pregnant, other than some major swelling in my feet I thought everything was fine. I had not even been experiencing any prelabor symptoms.
Things turned very serious very quickly. The nurse took my blood pressure and said it was not good, she asked me to lie down and went to get Dr. Brown. He came in, very quickly, and told me how high my blood pressure was 165/102...and I had gained 9lbs in one week, he said we needed to get me to the hospital and would most likely do a c-section that afternoon, he left the room to check me in to the hospital and I just remember being so glad Auntie Sandy and Ashley were there. I remember my heart racing, wondering if my parents could get there in time - I even tried to call my mom but no reception in the damn exam rooms. Dr. Brown was back in literally two minutes and said I was set, that I needed to go straight to the hospital....he asked if I was ok and commented on how calm I was. I just wanted to get Baby Earl out safely, I wasn't worried about me. I know I was teary eyed, but had not cried or gotten upset or even too nervous. I asked him if we could wait for my parents, until 4 or 5 and he said that worked for him.
The day passed quickly in the hospital, my BP came down once I was in bed. The staff was amazing, Uncle Dann came down, and my parents checked in as they drove over from Spokane. They made it just in time, literally minutes after they got their they came to wheel me down to surgery, the tears came when they walked in the door I was so glad they made it in time, that been my fear all along that my mom wouldn't be there when Peyton was born. The doctors even let both my mom and Auntie Sandy come into the room. They started the epidural at 5:15 and Peyton Joan Laramie was born into the world at 5:45. The spinal was uncomfortable and made me nauseous but they gave me medicine for that, the c-section went very fast and other than feeling kinda drunk I didn't feel a thing.
I was released by Monday at lunch time and was feeling great. Actually I had been walking too much in the hospital on Sunday and was put on bed rest...though I was still very swollen and bloated the joy and awe of having this beautiful little girl in my arms took any possible pain away. From the moment I saw her Peyton just seemed so familiar, for months I wondered what she would look like and what it would feel like when she was finally in my arms, and once she was it felt like home, like I had known her my whole life.













The First 8 Weeks
My parents were just amazing the first days, weeks and months of Peyton's life. They stayed for a week and half, passing us off to the Breidenbach's who took care of us for a week, then Peyton and I were cleared after 2 weeks to go to Spokane. My dad came and got us, and as a new mom with a 2 week old I was pretty nervous to take her by car to Spokane - just the three of us, but my dad was great...amazing what grandparenthood can do! And we did just fine. We spent 6 weeks in Spokane, visiting family and traveling all over that side of the state to see Papa in Inchelium and Barry, Tiff and the kids in Chewelah. My mom eventually stopped insisting to help me with night time feedings and Peyton and I found ourselves alone during the day for the first time when she was about a month old...and we did great. But the help from everyone made it so easy, I was able to get sleep and positive reinforcement, and even though at times I had to ask for my turn to hold Peyton, I know I could not have done it without my family. Peyton and I are so lucky to have the support, love and care that we do.


On Our Own
Peyton and I have now been home, on our own for a month. It has gone by so fast. People had told me how hard this was going to be, being a single mom, taking care of her on my own...and other than a couple bouts of constipation (Peyton not me :) hahaha), some stress around me having to resign from my job, and my tendency to over worry...we have been doing great. I love every minute of being a mom, and to me it honestly does not even feel like work...I look forward to taking care of her and doing everything I can to make her happy, and make sure she knows how much she is loved. Peyton is 10 weeks old, and is on week 3 of sleeping though the night - from about 10 pm to 7 am. She is now over 23" long and is 12 lbs, 10 ounces. She still just calm, sweet, happy and so loving. She is amazing. She is a wonderful baby and I am so blessed. We are in a great routine and adjusting to my new work schedule, she is growing and developing at record speed and I find myself thinking about how lucky I am to have her at least 10 times a day. We have an amazing family, extended family - like Tracy and Jace, and we are doing so well because of all of their love and support.

Peyton has changed my life forever. A year ago I was a mess and now I have all I ever wanted. I am so happy, I just could not ask for more. And I can not wait to spend the rest of my life in Peyton's world.

I did it! Baby Earl's room is 99% done!

So other than the window treatments I finally finished her room. I could not have done it without Tracy's help. But tonight I did a craft project all by myself! And I think it looks great! Patience is not my best quality, and crafts are not my thing but I was able to get Peyton's name up and it turned out great, I have to say I am proud of myself since I cant barely cut straight!

Here is her room, yes a few more things to put away, the top of her dresser has been my work station, a few small things needed still - like a table by the rocking chair...but all in all if she came tonight I would be happy with what is done, especially since she will be in my room in her co-sleeper for the first while anyway!

Thank you Tracy and thank you again to everyone who has blessed us with so many clothes, diapers, and all the things that have made this the room I envisioned for my precious Peyton!

39 weeks, 4 Days - The waiting game.

So this waiting is no fun! I mean its like when you are almost home and you have to go to the bathroom, and each mile, each block closer you are the worse you have to go.... Well each day closer to my due date the more I cannot wait to meet Baby Earl!

Sure I could do without the pain of labor and the messy part of birth, but the overwhelming excitement to meet her and hold her in my arms, to see my mom, dad, aunts, friends holding my daughter is just too much! I want to know what she looks like already! :)

The weird part is at the same time, I still had one of those moments sitting at work yesterday, she was moving around and with my hand on my tummy, near her feet, I thought "OMG there is a human being growing inside me". Strange that even this late in the game those thoughts still come and go.

And sure there is still part of me that is not done being pregnant, though the ever increasing pressure on my pelvis, the million trips a day to the bathroom, the swelling of my hands and cankles, the longing for my cure thin feet, the lower backaches, the worrying while waiting in line at the post office that my water will break, the anticipation of the physical pain of labor and the torpedo like shape my stomach has changed into, are certainly all things I will not miss. I will miss this very peculiar, very private and selfish bond I have with BE right now....but not enough to keep her in too much longer.

At this point today, it is still any one's guess. And it is no surprise to me that this waiting is so hard for me, like I have always said; patience is the one virtue I don't have. :) (That statement is proof I am my mother's daughter.) I am anticipating at this point though that the ultrasound on Friday may determine if a c-section is necessary, in that case we would at least be able to plan ahead and I would get 2 weeks extra off from work... or they could say eh, she is ok let's wait another week and see. Ironically, though the waiting seems to be long and drawn out, this week has actually gone by fast, I mean if she doesn't come by tomorrow night then the ultrasound is the next morning - and that seemed like such a long time away from the appointment last week.

Patience for Peyton is the name of the game right now. She is the boss of her arrival at this point, and honestly while I cannot wait to have her in my arms I am ok with waiting too....so long as my baby girl is born healthy, and I don't have any serious complications in birth - that is all I pray for, the rest is just details. :)

No sign of labor, yet...

Today at the OB Baby Earl was moving, heartbeat strong, my BP was a little elevated but good (134/84) for me at this point, and had the first pelvic check - not dilated one bit! Dr. Cole (Dr. Brown called in to emergency c-section) said at this point that is fine, she could come any time but it will be when she is ready.

So now, the next step is an ultrasound next Friday to see how big she has gotten this last month, and that will determine the next next step. :) No plans to induce or for c-section at this time. I am having some early pre-labor systems but nothing concerning or worth going into detail about :).

As far as how I feel about it? Well I am anxious to finally get to meet her and hold her, see her beautiful face and all that hair she supposedly has....but you know its kind of surreal still to think how close we are to this next phase, and how much things will change again once she is here. Its very exciting, and I am just thankful to be feeling so good and to know she is content exactly where she is. Of course it is pretty uncomfortable for me sleeping at night right now, the heartburn is back with a vengance (though it never went away only lessened for sometime) and there is nothing I can do to hide my waddle or the still growing and hardening belly, but still I cant complain. I feel good.

Plus this gives me a little more time to put the final touches on her room. My baby girl already has a closet that matches her mom and Yaya's closets; just packed full of clothes, blankets, toys... I still have a huge garbage bag full of clothes to wash that I got 2 days ago from a vendor at work of barely worn hand-me down clothes. She will be one well dressed baby girl!

So doesn't seem likely I will get to have Baby Earl on Grammie's birthday, the 23rd is just 4 days away...but you never know, either way as long as she is healthy I am just fine waiting until she is ready!

Support System - Check!

The continued outpouring of support, care and love seems never ending. From family, close friends, coworkers, acquaintances, even those ex-flames who call just to check in and offer to do yard work or get groceries....Me and Peyton have a solid support system in place.

As a first-time single mother this has been of the biggest concerns of the doctor and our social worker, and I know many women don't have the amazing network that we do. Its a reminder on days like today just how well cared for we are. My boss through a great luncheon/shower with coworkers today at work; he shut down the office supplied lunch and a cupcake cake, presents from each and every coworker, of course Paul & Lance went overboard, but the generous and genuine support and well wishes was all enveloping.




Plus this week, the emails, phone calls and texts from acquaintances and friends just checking in on me and baby, offering to run errands, bring food, do anything has been so amazing. Of course they are calling to make sure they are on the list to get a call or at least a text when she comes, but the genuine concern and care for me and BE is so tangible, its heartwarming. It really makes me feel good about myself and the live I have built, of course there have been some low times and I have made as many mistakes and bad choices as anyone but to know how many people really support me and baby Earl and genuinely care about both of us, I must be doing something right. And it is so reassuring to me, especially as we get closer to her arrival, to know as a single mom that its not just me and her, to know that I am bringing her into an amazing family, and extended family of friends and people who already love her and will be there for her.

Of course one of the best calls was on Saturday when I talked to Papa. Papa was so giddy on the phone, first he asked how I am feeling then he said "When are you bringing that baby up to see me?". He is so precious. He is very excited to meet this baby, and even as his memory has begun to weaken, he knows that my plan is to bring Peyton to Inchelium to see him and get baptized in his church after she is born. It was of course a short conversation, as he is not a phone talker, but you could hear the smile and excitement in his voice. Its one of those conversations I will treasure and remember forever. Mom said he brought me and baby up a couple more times over the weekend, and said he "sure cant wait to meet that new baby." And I cant wait for her to meet Papa too!

While I am not surprised in any way, I have always been very well aware of how blessed I am with an amazing family and it is no secret what great friends I have, but it is important I think to not take such blessings for granted. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive these last 38 weeks (and beyond) I cant wait to share this amazing little girl with you. It gives me such peace of mind to know what love she is being born into.

He..he..he..he..hooooo

37 weeks and 4 days...Baby Earl is officially full term and could come any time now.

Last weekend Coach Auntie Sandy and I attended the birth preparation class at Valley Medical Center. Saturday was a long day, 9-5, and we learned all about labor, delivery, toured the labor and delivery rooms, what to expect after birth and how to take care of yourself. It was a great day and I learned quite a bit, of course we also watched multiple birthing stories and talked about life for baby when she first arrives. Sunday was a half a day, and I was pooped, after all it was like working through the weekend - getting up and sitting in uncomfortable chairs for 8+ hours, and it was really more about taking care of baby from how to change a diaper, to how to dress them and bathe them - all the stuff I am most confident in.



I am glad we attended. I have been feeling pretty nervous about the labor process; will I know what is happening, will I know what to do, will I be able to handle the pain.....all quite normal concerns and thoughts, or so I am told :). And yes logically I know the signs of labor - contractions and such will be obvious, but I think the whole not being able to plan for when it will happen and just the fact I have never experienced a gush of water from my area or anything more than severe menstrual cramps just adds to the anxiety or nerves.

Also, while I am so excited to meet Baby Earl and day dream every day and dream every night about her face, her hair, her voice, holding her, and kissing her....I have to admit I think I will be a little sad to not be pregnant anymore. I wanted this for so long, I dreamt about being pregnant and it has been so enjoyable that I think it is also natural that I will mourn this phase of our life together ending. But my faith tells me to yes mourn the ending of this stage, but be thankful that I really did get to experience pregnancy. Still at 37 weeks, I sometimes will be sitting by myself at work or in the car, or laying in bed and think "I can not believe I am actually having a baby. I really am pregnant." Silly, but true.

So right now, I am just taking it day by day. I feel that I am prepared for her, her room is 90% ready, my house is getting a deep cleaning (thank you Tracy) to prepare for her arrival tomorrow, I have our bags packed for the hospital (mostly). I know what to expect as far as how labor progresses, and now what a mess I will be and the long list of stuff I will have to do to take care of me after birth. The plans are in place who to call, and when. So now we wait for her arrival. Of course I am hoping for the 23rd, it would be amazing to have her on Grammie's birthday plus Dr. Brown is on vacation until then. For now just my plan is to try to stay rested, relaxed and just enjoying these last weeks of being pregnant. It makes me laugh out loud every time to see her moving in my tummy, its so amazing. I just love to feel and count her kicks, punches and turns. I am also very excited and looking forward to having my parents on standby to come be with us for a week or so and then to go home with them for sometime, especially knowing how recovery for me looks I am thankful that they will be here.

My mom (who as Alvin Jr is self-proclaimed to be always right lol) says she is coming early - between the 15th and the 19th. Baby Earl definitely has been dropping down, my waddle is unavoidable and the pressure on my lower abdomen area is very noticeable, sometimes uncomfortable and almost painful. No nesting feelings yet, though I have been more tired lately - to the point of needing to take naps. I think she will definitely come before 8/31. My guess is Baby earl will come between the 22rd and 27th of August. What is your guess?

Moccasins from Grammie

This morning at 36 weeks, on a staurday, I was up bright and early for a maternity photo shoot. The photographer was great, I had a good time. I just wanted to capture this amazing journey, really celebrate this blessing and capture the absolute joy and love that this baby has brought into my life. I can't believe its 28 days until her due date, and though it made me cry a little to pull out the moccasins Grammie had made for me some 8 years ago (I wasnt kidding when I said she wanted this as much as I did, for as long as I have.) it was such a joy to know that she is watching over us. I could almost hear her smiling from heaven as we took different photos with moccasisns she had made for her greart-grandbaby, she must of known it would be a girl. The pendleton from Auntie Punkin was also perfect. The only thing that could have made the day better was having my mom here, but all in all a beautiful experience and I cant wait to get the photos back.

Big, Healthy and Lots of Hair!

Today at the Ultrasound, I was happily surprised to have Ashley there too! She came with Auntie Sandy, and we got to see Baby Earl's feet, legs, tummy - even her stomach, her hands, her heart beating! We did not get a good look at her face because she was sleeping with her fist in front of her face, but we got to see her profile. She has cute chubby cheeks and the technician showed us she has a full head of hair!

At 35 weeks, 5 days, Baby Earl is 7lbs 2 ounces and projected to be about 8.5lbs at birth - right about what me and Bear were born as. She is head down and I have lots of amniotic fluid protecting her, 90th percentile!

Dr. Brown was very pleased again with my weight and I will be going in once per week now to check on her growth and my BP. There are no plans to induce or schedule a c-section, the plan is still a vaginal birth when she is ready to come out.

All in all it was a great doctor's appointment. I am so excited to meet Baby Earl. I can't believe she has lots of hair - I was completely bald. I feel great, and she is healthy - God is Good!

Spokane, Cotton Candy, Rogers Pirates and More at 35 weeks!

Me and Baby Earl had an amazing time in Spokane as usual! Though we did not get to see all of the family, we had quality time with Mom, Dad, Bear, Tiff and the kids and I got to spend some time with Papa.

Friday, I spent the day getting ready, shopping, nails etc and then we headed to Chewelah to stay at Bear's house. The twins were in bed, Tiff and Si were at the Church camp out, so it was just the four of us (and Earl) which just doesn't happen often. We had dinner, visited and made about 80 bags of cotton candy for the twin's party on Saturday!



We spent all day Saturday at the Hunters Campground. It was hot, the water was nice and cold, the kids played all day, Papa came to visit, we celebrated the twin's second birthday with family, friends and it was a wonderful day. I just can't believe the twins are two, nor can I believe I am posting pictures of me in a swimsuit at 35 weeks preggers! :)







Saturday night I attended mom's 35th High School Reunion with her. Now, it is no secret how much I love my mom and how amazing I think she is. But since she started getting ready IN January for her surgery in April, she has lost alot of weight and changed her life for the healthier. And I was so proud of her in her new dress, she looked so beautiful, and the confidence oozing from her was intoxicating. I am so proud of my mom, she continues to inspire me to be a good mom, a good woman and a genuinely kind human being. I just could not love her more. We had a great time at the party and then got to spend all day Sunday together. Of course I was a wreck and cried like a baby when Mom and Dad dropped me off at the airport, I just love them so much. I have been so lucky to see mom in person every single month of this pregnancy and I could not imagine not having her by my side. It is amazing the strength, the love and the joy that fills your soul just being in her presence. Me and Baby Earl are so blessed to have her.






And the next time we are together will be to welcome Peyton into the world! Thank you for everything, I love you mom!