Thinking for two...

As my first trimester comes to an end (13 weeks and 1 day today), I am consumed with thoughts of Baby Earl all day. I think about what to do when he/she is born; do I stay and put baby in day care or move to Spokane and live with family so I have more time at home with baby, I wonder what sex Baby Earl will be and can't help but giggle thinking the nick name Earl will be even sillier if it is a girl, and of course I cant help but worry and wonder how things will be when he/she is here in my arms. Being a sinle mom does not scare me, but like all first time moms sometimes I worry that I will be a good mom to this wonderful baby, will I be able to handle everything from day one to eighteen years old and beyond....I worry that I will make the right chouices today, tomorrow and ten years from now because my choices effect more than just me now, I am creating Baby Earl's life with every choice I make even now.

Sometimes it is overwhelming, sometimes I am more confident. And when I am feeling less confident of my chocies or even overwhelmed then I think of my mom, Grammie, my aunts, Tif - I think of all the wonderful women in my life who are great moms and I know I am not really doing this alone. Especially when I think of my mom, I feel so much better about having Baby Earl because she is so wonderful and all I have to do is try to be like her, and love my baby the way she has always loved me. My mom was 21 when she had me as as single parent, and it was her mom, dad and family that helped her though everything - just the way my mom, dad and family are supporting me now. Knowing how much love and support I have, helps me feel less overwhelmed, and lets me focus on just enjoying this amazing blessing.

Me and Baby Earl's First Valentine

So my parents, sent me and baby our first Valentine today! I was so shocked, and it is so beautiful, of course I cried (yes still crying at everyting from American Idol to commericals and everything inbetween).



This idea that it is not just me any more, that its my family, me and my baby, it's an idea that I am still getting used to. I have waited so long for this opportunity to be a mom, and thought about it so much, at times it is still surreal to me that it is final happening.

And I am just so lucky to have such a supportive and loving family, and lots of them.

Happy Valentine's Day!
XOXOXO & xoxoxo

First Ultrasound!

So I had my first ultrasound today, and everything looked great according to the doctor's and technicians. A great big thank you again to Auntie Sandy and Uncle Dann who joined me this morning, having my second parents there was the next best thing to having my mom and dad there.


Here is what we learned today:
- Baby Earl's first picture:

- Baby Earl measured 10 weeks and 2 days, so I am a little bit behind what the midwives originally thought, and the due date is now 8/31/2010.
- The measurement that predicts the chance of baby having down syndrome was where we want it to be, we do have to wait for the blood test results from today and the follow up blood test on 3/17, to confirm but they said given the measurements and my age everything looks perfect!
- My next midwife appointment is March 4th, and will schedule the next ultrasound at that time.
- Baby Earl's heart beat was at 158 beats per minute, right where it should be.
- I can learn the sex probably end of March, beginning of April.

I am feeling wonderful. It was so amazing this morning, we saw Earl's heart beating, his hands and legs moving. we cried and laughed, I am just so overjoyed, it is really real.

Thank you all for the continued love and support, I will be telling more of my friends, some already know. What a blessing!

Papa's 85th Birthday

Over the weekend, I flew to Spokane then we went to Inchelium to celebrate Papa's 85th Birthday! I had waited all this time to tell him the news of my pregnancy, because I wanted to tell him in person.

My Mom and Aunties were busy in the kitchen getting ready for his party, so I went to living room and kneeled by his chair to tell him my good news. He was really suprised and it took a minute for it to sinnk in, he said "Well isn't that somethin'!".... A few minutes later Auntie Sandy asked him what he thought about the news, after he had time to process it, and he said "It sure is great. I was wonderin' if she was ever going to get married or have a baby, now she wont be an old maid." Papa giggled, and we all laughed. He congratulated me and gave me a big hug.



It was amazing to get to get to tell him in person, his reaction was precious and I will never forget that day. I often imagine what Grammie would say, I know she would be elated and spoiling the baby already. She wished for so long for me to have a baby before she passed away, and I know she is just so happy for me in Heaven right now. Buy boy do I wish she was here with us for this, especially if Baby Earl is born on her brithday - she would have really loved that.