Catching up....August 2011

It has been almost 3 months since my last post. Oops! Ok so I have been busy with Peyton's first birthday, getting a new full time job, putting Peyton in daycare, getting a new roommate(s) but 3 months? My bad! So let's catch up:

August 2011

August was a great month, very busy. We started the month off by getting new roommates. I had posted an ad on Craigslist because with Chaddy moved out and me working part time, there was no way I could make rent, keep up with all the bills and support me an Peyton. After a few weeks we finally got one response and began learning about Bekah and Shauna. The month was off to a great start because we also got to see Papa for the second time this summer while he was staying at Auntie Sandy's house in Lynnwood!









I spent alot of time August preparing for Peyton's 1st birthday party, smothering her in kisses and loves because I was in disbelief and denial that she was turning one and of course alot of time outside in the sunshine! I really was not ready for Peyton to turn one, I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that my baby was no longer a newborn, not an infant, and she was changing daily. I was also feeling that it was time, no matter how hard it would on us, for me to start looking for a full time position and decide on my career move. The first year when so fast, and out little family really did ok, we wanted for nothing due to the help of others, but in my heart I knew that we needed more and my independence relied on me taking that first step by looking into what jobs where out there. I didn't see much and was hoping a Boeing connection would come through, but one night I did come across a position that had the right salary, the right hours and was with a company who's mission I could really get behind, so I applied. Then fear set in. How could I leave Peyton? And I didn't want to leave Tracy and Jace in a bind either, they had done so much for us. But I figured I wouldn't hear anything because this position was amazing and surely it was going to be a long shot. And again, how could I leave Peyton?!

A few days later, I was called in for an interview. Just a couple days before we were heading to Spokane for Peyton's birthday I had my first interview at Puget Sound Educational Service District. Auntie Sandy and Uncle Dann drove down from Lynnwood (45 minutes) to watch Peyton for an hour, just to drive back to Lynnwood. That is what you call support! It was a panel of 6 and of course I went over the 30 minutes they had scheduled, but it went well and I felt great. I still was not feeling like it would really happen, that I would get the job and that our whole world would change, but I had bigger things to worry about like Peyton's birthday!

Peyton's 1st Birthday Party was Perfect! My parents were amazing, they hosted the party which happened to be on her actual birthday. And my family was amazing; The VanderVeens came from Portland, The Breidenbachs came from Lynnwood, The Pachosa's came from Coulee Dam and brought Papa, of course Bear and his family came to Spokane too and those were just the family members that did not live in Spokane that came! It was a super hot day, we had great food, lots of laughter and visiting, cake and ice cream, tons of presents - it was everything I imagined, I think. Really the day was kind of a blur for me. I had a roller coaster of emotions and between trying to take care of the party and be present with Peyton, the day just kind of seemed to happen. It really was perfect! Even two of my childhood friends, Niki and Shauna, were able to come with their children!

Thank you to all our family and friends who made Peyton's 1st Birthday so amazing! It was a perfect day, a perfect party and a wonderful weekend!

6 Months Old!

Ok, ok, ok....I really must get better at regular postings, but honestly - computer time is the last thing on my mind at the end of the day.

Updates up from last post:

- Peyton's muscle tone is fine. She tested borderline on upper body strength, and in "normal levels" cognitively and socially. Long story short - they recommended more tummy time and some upper body strengthening workouts. Auntie Sandy made the 80+ mile round trip for the evaluation that barely lasted an hour. Peyton did well but did not even show the two women testing her everything she can do. I was a nervous wreck though, but as always I knew I could rely on Auntie Sandy to be there for us and she was so positive, she was such a rock - she definitely is only second to my mom when it comes to being just who I need, when I need her. Thank you Tuma!

- Peyton is doing so much better with tummy time, she sits almost unsupported, but can be tipsy when she is tired or lose her balance when she gets excited. We work everyday on tummy time and rolling over, though she is not rolling over she IS pushing her self up and holding herself up on her extended arms (especially does this well on the exercise ball)! Yay Peyton!

- Peyton is as social as ever! We enjoying getting stopped with compliments wherever we go and she continues to improve and develop her flirting abilities! I think my favorite is when Gramma and Grandpas stop to talk to her in the store, to see how they react so positively, they are so happy to see her smile and 9 times out of 10 they say "Oh she knows a Gramma/Grandpa when she sees one!". If ever I am feeling down, this is a sure fire way to cheer me up!

- As for me, I continue to acclimate to my new life. While some things, people, I am still learning to let go, I am ever aware that I am receiving new "things" and people in direct or even favorable proportion. A great example of this is our time at Little Gym, I am getting to know a couple of moms in particular and just yesterday we started discussing what we could do as a play date with our babies and hope to get a regular play date started in April. Very exciting for me and Peyton. Another example is my return to books and reading, I used to be an avid reader but let go of that joy for less intellectual past times like pool, and men - just kidding, but I am reading more and loving it. And I am looking forward to a visit from a very good friend from my past next week, which I think is exactly what I need.

So what's next in Peyton's World?

Well I have all but let go of the notion that moving back to be Spokane would somehow be an admittance of failure or sign of weakness. Hold on a second Mom, I am not saying I am moving back to Spokane next weekend. :) But I do consider all the time what it would mean for Peyton to live so close to her grandparents and cousins. I think about how far back my memories of Papa and Grammie go, like sleeping in between them in; Grammie reading a book, Papa faced the other way sleeping, me putting my cold feet against their legs and giggling at their reaction. And I think about all the memories of Chosie; he was larger than life to me and Bear, he was the cool older cousin and I can see Silas already loves Peyton and protects her in the same brother-like manner. But then I think about the connection Peyton has with her Tuma and Tupa, the way she lights up when she sees Snookie, and how Ashley has been able to make her smile and giggle with such little effort since she was able to smile. We have family on both sides of the mountains, the drive from Spokane to Coulee Dam is not dissimilar from Covington to Portland, so either way her great Aunties (wow, don't think I have said that before - weird!) are only a car ride away. And so, the verdict is still out.

What I do know is that I will do what is best for Peyton and for me. I can't just move without a job and a plan, it is not good parenting and it's just not my style. For now we have a good routine, we have morning time together, we go to work 5 days a week - together, and we have our weekends to be with family or to stay home and relax. But I do need to consider what my next career move is long term, can't waist that $60K+ Bachelors Degree, and more importantly the plans Peyton and I are making for ourselves; new car, buying a home, Disneyland, those require more than just getting by. We are blessed to be in the position we are in now, with time to look at all of our options and decide what is best for us.

I also know that Peyton is 6 months old tomorrow and we are celebrating her half birthday with......APPLE JUICE! Yay! Last weekend I began giving Peyton baby cereal, it was so much fun; mom and dad even got to witness it via web cam. Unfortunately Peyton may have reacted poorly to the rice cereal, or it was a flare up of extremely dry skin at the same time, either way I ended up switching her to oatmeal. By day 3 she was becoming very good at eating off of a spoon, and it is so cute to watch her "chew" her oatmeal. So we are waiting a few more days, to give her tummy time to adjust to the oatmeal, before I introduce her to fruit and vegetables, but today I gave Peyton her first sippy cup (also something new she is learning) of water and tomorrow she will get her first taste of juice!

What else is new? Up a diaper size, after a few blowouts last week I finally realized it wasn't just her position at the time of taking care of business - and started using the next size up. Peyton LOVES her excersaucer and bouncy seat from her cousins Elise and Emmitt. Peyton is learning to wave hello and goodbye, and shows excitement by panting, rocking and/or moving her arms and legs up down very quickly. Peek-a-boo, tickling and Elmo are the top 3 giggle-inducers! And I finally parted with clothes she has outgrown through donation and resale, it was hard at first but so worth it to take the store credit and get her new toys and clothes! Peyton is still sleeping through the night, once in awhile she stirs and needs help finding her nuk, but sleeps from 8:30/9 to 7/7:30 in the morning, she does sleep in her own crib every night but it is still in my room....I am thinking about moving her crib to her bedroom, but mommy is not ready for that yet and I have the scar on my tummy to prove I have that right to not be ready!!! lol

All in all, our life is amazing. We have a wonderful routine, but she is such a good baby, she is very flexible (more so than me!) when needed. We share lots of laughs and kisses every day, we have lots of family that love us and we have a world of opportunities and experiences ahead of us that are yet to be decided.

Support System - Check!

The continued outpouring of support, care and love seems never ending. From family, close friends, coworkers, acquaintances, even those ex-flames who call just to check in and offer to do yard work or get groceries....Me and Peyton have a solid support system in place.

As a first-time single mother this has been of the biggest concerns of the doctor and our social worker, and I know many women don't have the amazing network that we do. Its a reminder on days like today just how well cared for we are. My boss through a great luncheon/shower with coworkers today at work; he shut down the office supplied lunch and a cupcake cake, presents from each and every coworker, of course Paul & Lance went overboard, but the generous and genuine support and well wishes was all enveloping.




Plus this week, the emails, phone calls and texts from acquaintances and friends just checking in on me and baby, offering to run errands, bring food, do anything has been so amazing. Of course they are calling to make sure they are on the list to get a call or at least a text when she comes, but the genuine concern and care for me and BE is so tangible, its heartwarming. It really makes me feel good about myself and the live I have built, of course there have been some low times and I have made as many mistakes and bad choices as anyone but to know how many people really support me and baby Earl and genuinely care about both of us, I must be doing something right. And it is so reassuring to me, especially as we get closer to her arrival, to know as a single mom that its not just me and her, to know that I am bringing her into an amazing family, and extended family of friends and people who already love her and will be there for her.

Of course one of the best calls was on Saturday when I talked to Papa. Papa was so giddy on the phone, first he asked how I am feeling then he said "When are you bringing that baby up to see me?". He is so precious. He is very excited to meet this baby, and even as his memory has begun to weaken, he knows that my plan is to bring Peyton to Inchelium to see him and get baptized in his church after she is born. It was of course a short conversation, as he is not a phone talker, but you could hear the smile and excitement in his voice. Its one of those conversations I will treasure and remember forever. Mom said he brought me and baby up a couple more times over the weekend, and said he "sure cant wait to meet that new baby." And I cant wait for her to meet Papa too!

While I am not surprised in any way, I have always been very well aware of how blessed I am with an amazing family and it is no secret what great friends I have, but it is important I think to not take such blessings for granted. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive these last 38 weeks (and beyond) I cant wait to share this amazing little girl with you. It gives me such peace of mind to know what love she is being born into.